it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
