Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
