Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
