yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
