Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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