i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You did what with his pubic hair?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
