I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
