Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
