So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Randomize
