Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
