Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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