Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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