He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
