It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
