My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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