When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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