my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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