i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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