Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
