tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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