im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
