I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it's like iHOP with fire
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
