that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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