I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
