ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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