Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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