I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
