she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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