no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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