sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
