Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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