Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
