Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
