Soap is not a condiment
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
