So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
