just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
