69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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