don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I looked at my own cervix.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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