yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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