Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
