Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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