well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Found your dick twin last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
