Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
