I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
