Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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