My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
