What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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