Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
