I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
