i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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